Better Living through Biscuits

2005-06-14

So, Better Living through Biscuits. A new plan for social reform bringing forth benefits of time and convenience for all. The principle is simple, but highly effective. Biscuits (as you might have predicted) are to be deployed for the improvement of the Common Good...

Consider: At the airport waiting for boarding to be announced. Aside hundreds of others you slump patiently in your seats. The plane is called. The mass leaps forth to stay in line for minutes, to stand and queue a little more.

Consider: Your flight has landed. You arrive in the baggage hall. You crowd still and silent around still silent conveyers. Jerking into motion, you still stand, craning glances past a forest of necks as clattering nothing passes your position. A bag! Yours? You cannot see, cannot be sure. Too late! Not yours but his as he presses past, grabbing, grunting and swinging his precious piece against your leaden legs. Patiently bruised you stand your ground while brown bags bang their tattered way around.

Better: Sit and stay away from the door. Relax until the line grows short. Join the end at the line's beginning and get a biscuit.

Better: Stand back until you spy your case. Approach the belt at a gentle pace. Leave a good amount of space and get a biscuit.

And, of course, I've been busy: Firstly, and most importantly, I now have a place to live in Cambridge. I am therefore a happier bunny and more able to concentrate on getting finished up here properly. Currently this involves a hideous Heisenbug, a BBQ at the weekend, a pub here and a walk in the country there. This week's weather has been pretty good, with clear evenings and dramatic sunsets behind the Malverns.

On the down side my dentist is being useless, not only going on holiday directly after I first went to see him but rescheduling my appointments once he'd come back two weeks further into the future, making it unlikely that my teeth will be through with him before I have to move on. Grrrr.